5 Steps to Holiday Debt Survival for Christians

Do you struggle with spending and using credit during the holidays? With family get-togethers and gift-giving, the holidays are supposed to be one of the most joyous times of the year. However, the reality is, family get-togethers can be stressful. The pressure to give your family a happy Christmas can be overwhelming, and the celebration of the birth of Jesus can be covered up or lost altogether. There is a better way to approaching the holidays by spending less, helping you enjoy your family more, and joyfully celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ.

Most people have similar family expenses from month to month—except for November and December. According to the National Retail Federation's annual holiday survey, consumers say they will spend an average of $1,007 on gifts, decorations and more this holiday season (Jordan, 2018). Many people will add this year's debt to their credit cards and carry the increased balance into the coming year. If you pay the minimum credit card payments due, it will take almost five years to pay off holiday spending for one year. If you continue to pay the minimum balance due and charge for future holidays, your cycle will put you deeper and deeper into debt.

To be clear, borrowing money is not a sin. However, many scriptures in the Bible strongly discourage the borrowing of money. Proverbs 22:26-27 is a good example: "Don't agree to guarantee another person's debt or put up security for someone else. If you can't pay it, even your bed will be snatched from under you." As you go through the following 5 steps to holiday debt survival, I've listed several bullet points providing examples of various situations you may encounter, not all of which will pertain to you. Look through the bullets to find the answers that will best help you, and ideas that will lead you towards better control of your finances and make Jesus the main reason for the season. Now, on to step one.

Step 1 – Meet the wise version of you

If you plan to add more debt for this year's holidays, here is a technique to help you get your spending under control. Imagine looking into a mirror, and the person you see is a calm and wise version of you. If you are having trouble finding the wise version of you, take a moment and take three slow deep breaths. Relax, and you will find the wise person inside of you. This wise person tells you to look for the root of your holiday stress. Why do you feel that you must spend so much and pay for this year's holiday season with credit and not pay cash? Write down the reason that comes to your mind. Really, stop this very moment to put into words why the holidays have to be paid for with credit and why you feel so stressed. Now, the wise version of you tells you that we all play a character or a role in life. He or she asks what role you are playing when you shop for Christmas.

• Are you the victim? Do you feel like you have to buy gifts, decorate and put on a big meal because your family will be disappointed or perhaps, they will resent you for not going all out for the holidays?
• Are you the martyr? No one else is going to put as much into Christmas. So, you are going to go big to show your family this is how it is done?
• Are you the hero? Do you feel like shopping, cooking, and decorating makes your family love you more and you are their hero?
• Is someone dependent on you? Are you spending because another family member will not do it? Consequently, do you feel your loved ones are dependent on you to make everything all right?
• Does spending make you feel more powerful and important? And as a result, if you do not spend, do you feel that you would lose control of your family?
• Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, it is never enough? So, you spend more money to try to make up for the fact that you feel it is never going to work out?
• Can you not trust other people in your family to put your Christmas celebration together? Do you not trust anyone else to put everything in place? If you do not put on a good Christmas, is it just not going to happen?

You may be playing a completely different role than any of these listed. Your reason why you spend and shop on credit for the holidays may be different than any of these listed reasons, too. Whatever reason you have, you must face it. If you do not face why you over-spend and charge so much for the holidays, you will never find a way to get your spending under control. The debt will continue to pile up year after year.

2 – Encounter the emotional version of you

The next step requires that you be truthful to yourself. What are some of the reasons why you feel you must keep doing what you do? When people look at the reasons why they spend money, the reasons are usually emotionally charged. Do any of these emotional reasons sound like you? You can be honest with yourself. No one will know but you and God.

• Do you feel like you are always right? Do you say to yourself that you are right, there is no other way to celebrate the holidays? Spending money is the only way to bring joy to your family?
• You are sure that the world is not fair? The reason you continue spending is that you have the responsibility of providing a memorable holiday. It may not be fair, but that is just the way it is. You have accepted it and charging more money to do it is only part of the unfairness of the situation.
• Do you feel self-pity? Do you ask, why me, Lord? Why am I stuck putting everything together for my family for the holidays? Is this punishment for something?
• Do you feel like you do not deserve what you have, so you go out and spend more money than you should, so you can make your family happy? They deserve so much more than you could give them?

If none of these emotional reasons explain why you feel like you have to spend more for the holidays, well, these are not the only explanations. You may have a completely different motive. Regardless of your reasons, if you put your emotions behind your reasons into words, you will be able to tame your habits instead of letting your habits control you.

3 – Look at the cost of not changing

In this step, you are not looking at the financial price of the holidays. You are looking at the personal cost of going further into debt. What will it be like in January when you get the bill for your Christmas spending? Do you have arguments with your family over money? Do you lose sleep worrying about paying bills? Do you have a secret account or credit card so that you can spend more? Do you avoid giving to your Church to be able to spend money on more gifts, decorating and elaborate meals for the holidays? One significant cost of not changing your spending habits is if you are married and you die, your debt passes on to your spouse.

Step three might seem like the shortest step, however, do not treat the cost of not changing your spending habits lightly. You need to realize that credit card companies and retailers try to get people to spend more money. Their goal is not to help you out of debt, but to get you to spend and charge more. So in the next step, you will learn how you can change the cycle of over-spending and improve your spending habits.

4 – Recognize a distorted view

The way that people sometimes defend their habits is by justifying them. This is where taking a closer look at why overspending happens will help. Can you relate with any of these views?

• All or nothing – if you have trouble overspending, do you feel that you have to spend at a higher level because spending less would not be acceptable?
• Catastrophizing – if you do not buy a particular food, or if you do not get certain gifts, it doesn't feel like Christmas will be the same?
• Should – using the word "should" can be damaging because there is not a logical reason. Do you find yourself saying that you should buy more items? Alternatively, do you lump yourself into an elite status of people and say, this is what caring people should do?
• Emotional reasoning – you feel that you have to spend more on Christmas or it will be a somber holiday.
• Disqualifying the positive – you do not recognize that joy can come from giving, the size of the gift does not matter.
• Comparing – you feel that for the neighborhood you live in or the school that your child attends, you must have a big expensive Christmas.
• Jumping to conclusions – if you do not spend more money on Christmas, it will be a failure.
• Dwelling on the past – if you spend more money on Christmas it will make it like holidays used to be.
• Failing to see the big picture – you forget that Christmas is about the birth of Christ.

5 - Find your wise mind

Writing your distorted views is another key to changing your habits. If you recognize the reasons you spend too much over the holidays, use your wise mind and rationalize out the reason why the distortion is not real. For example, if you are comparing yourself or your family to others and think you must spend more money to have a happy Christmas, you know that is not true.

The Bible offers tremendous help with all the personal distortions listed. If you search the internet for "what does the Bible say about comparing yourself to others," one of the first listings will be from www.openbible.info. You will find scriptures like Philippians 2:3, "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." President Ronald Reagan once said, "Within the covers of the Bible are all the answers for all the problems men face." If you make study of the Bible part of your daily routine, this will help improve many aspects of your life, including your holiday spending habits.

There are numerous direct references to the evils of debt within scriptures in the Bible. That said, you will find more answers to your problems by going through the five steps above, and then studying the Bible for help with any distorted views you may have. If you feel self-conscious or awkward, remember that we all have faults and are sinners. You are not alone; many people have problems with debt.

Now that you have come face-to-face with your problems, it is time to fix them. If you are married, it is essential that you work through this next step with your spouse. You must set limits on what you can spend. Additionally, creating a holiday budget can help you cut spending or at least not buy unnecessarily. There are many pressures from society to spend money. The reasons for pressure to conform to the world may have changed, however Paul the Apostle wrote to the Roman Christians and said, "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think" (Romans 12:2, NLT). The five steps listed will help you change the way you think.

If you have gone through every step and you still must charge some of your holiday expenses to credit, make plans for next year. Banks and credit unions used to have special accounts called Christmas Club accounts. These accounts are specifically set up for saving money to spend during the Christmas holiday. While most big banks do not have Christmas Club accounts, still, you can check with your local credit union. You know that the holiday season is coming every year. You may find that if you make adding to a Christmas Club account part of your New Year's resolution, it will help you reduce your debt significantly.

These five steps to controlling your debt will help you handle money and save for the future. They will also help you keep the emphasis of Christmas where it should be—on the celebration of the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.

–Van Richards is a Christian financial advisor as well as the founder of https://www.Advice4LifeInsurance.com and http://www.Advice4Retirement.com. Van draws from his 30 years as a financial advisor to write about financial issues from a Christian perspective. You can contact him at van@advice4lifeinsurance.com.