Character Counts: 5 Traits to Instill in Your Daughter
As women, the messages we hear from the world are loud and clear. They tell us to act and speak and dress a certain way to be noticed and valued.
Those same messages begin to bombard our daughters even before their brains are developed enough to process them. Often, it leads to behaviors our girls think will bring positive attention. From the way they dress to the language they use to their social media posts, being noticed becomes necessary. It's the reason they start to believe, even at a young age, that "sexy is fun" at Halloween.
As parents, how can we build character inside our daughters so strong that it overpowers what the world tells them about beauty? Character, not culture, is what determines our true beauty. Here are 5 character traits to cultivate in your daughter and some tips for how to develop them.
1. Gratitude
Going through life with a posture of thankfulness and appreciation will not only change your daughter's outlook, it will ultimately change the way she views herself. This can start by simply weaving thankfulness into normal conversations between family members and friends. Share blessings that you're grateful for throughout the day. Prompt your daughter to name something she's thankful for every time you get in the car and before she lays her head down at night. The best way for her to learn gratitude is through your regular encouragement and modeling.
2. Contentment
The world consistently tells us that we always need more. Achieve more, earn more, buy more and then we will be successful. Let's teach our daughters the truth. With gratitude comes contentment. Whether they're asking for something at the store, complaining about what's on their plate or sighing impatiently because they have "nothing to do" at home, setting simple expectations for your family's life will help your children start to see seemingly inconvenient circumstances as special blessings.
3. Patience
Learning to wait patiently is crucial for children of all ages. There are simple ways to incorporate the practice of patience into your daughter's day-to-day life. Start small, asking her to calm down, take a breath or wait before starting an activity or meal. Show her what patience looks and acts like. Then, practice "waiting well" together. Encouraging her to share time and possessions with others is simple and powerful. Patience is about maintaining self-control despite your circumstances. Helping your daughter through these small steps will allow her to stretch and grow.
4. Compassion
Teaching our daughters to have a heart for others is one of the best gifts we give our children. Looking beyond themselves and to the needs of others can dramatically change their perspective. Encourage your daughter to be involved with projects and events in your home, at church and around your community that help others. Teach her to slow down and notice the needs of others. This doesn't have to start with strangers or neighbors. Why not start by creating opportunities for her to kindly and compassionately interact with her siblings or a friend? Show her how she can use her gifts to serve others in need.
5. Humility
"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time." —1 Peter 5:6
Perhaps there is no greater lesson than to surrender control and allow God to take the lead in our lives. Guide your daughter to seek God's will. His power is made perfect in her weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). As she learns to serve, work as part of a team and develop her faith, walk alongside her on her life's journey to discover her purpose by chasing humility.
No matter how many times we get caught up in the world's definition of beauty, remember that God's definition of beauty is the one that truly matters. Believing this for ourselves and instilling this deep in our daughters' hearts is so important. Just because you don't feel beautiful, doesn't mean that you aren't beautiful. You can be a masterpiece and a work-in-progress all at the same time. Let's remember these truths for ourselves. It will help us teach our daughters to be grateful, content, patient, compassionate, and humble, believing they are who He says they are.
—Erin Weidemann, founder and CEO of Bible Belles and award-winning author of The Adventures of Rooney Cruz series, is committed to changing the world's current definition of beauty.
As a certified teacher, coach, and nationally recognized speaker, she offers speaking, workshops, and seminars to equip women of all ages to let go of fear and step into the unique leadership roles for which they were designed. She is also pleased to be a part of the Speakers Bureau for World Vision, a Christian humanitarian organization.
A five-time cancer survivor, Erin lives in San Diego, CA and speaks at events, conferences, fundraisers, churches, and schools. Funny and real, Erin is also the host of the Heroes for Her podcast, interviewing celebrities, actors, musicians, and other women who are living out their passions in line with their personal values.